Day...*watches a tumbleweed blow past*...19 or 20

Wow...I've really neglected this...

I know I've not posted in 10 or 11 days, and for this, I am eternally sorry.

I know a lot of you have given up on me. Possibly assuming I've failed this. But in fact, I've not. I've done the exact opposite. I have been becoming so connect to God, and getting involved with my new church and the people of it, and planning this Lock-In, I've completely lost time for my blog. I only see it getting worse. And so for this, I will not try to make this a day-to-day blog. Or a week-to-week. Or even a month-to-month. I will blog as I feel called to.

I am not giving up on this blog by no means. But I know that there are things meant to share and things meant to keep in, bask in, grow in, and learn in. This is extremely hard for me. I LOVE to go around telling people everything that has been happening to me. Every thing I've been experiencing. But I've realized and been told in more than one way, that I need to take this time to grow and learn. I'm not saying that I won't share with you all about what is going on, but I am saying you will not get my life story on this blog like I might have thought would have happened.

I will say that the Lord is doing GREAT and POWERFUL things in my life right now. He has had all these doors open for me to walk through, and yet I've just neglected to step through them. On top of that, He has granted me so many wonderful opportunities this summer. MAN! I cannot wait to share them with you as I feel led to.

I've noticed that this blog is not entirely about my "Flesh Fast", but about what God is doing in me, through me, and as me. And I'm okay with that.

This blog started out with you, the readers, having the mind set that I've given up guys to draw nearer to the Lord. Now I've changed some things and explained more so of what I've been doing, drawing closer to the Lord, and through that, I remove and crucify the things of my life that were unneeded or keeping me from being closer to God. And now I'm basically using it as a ministry. Which is what I've felt it to be all along. That through what I blog about and you seeing God move through me, in me, and as me, you will then feel Him move through you, in you, and as you.

I want to hear feedback from you, my readers. I want to hear from you whatever is laid upon your heart. I want you to know that you are more than welcome to come to me at any point in time, day, night, or any time in between the two, and talk to me. I always have open ears. What I reply with will not be me though, I warn you. You will not have the words of me, Victoria McBride, coming back to you. You will have the words that God gives me, a mere messenger, to give to you. I've listed my email before and I'll list it again, victoria.n.mcbride@gmail.com and you are more than welcome, actually I encourage you, that you email me with anything. Big, small, medium sized. If I feel like I am not the one you should be speaking to, I know some pretty great people to lead you to.

Know that you are awesome in the eyes of the Lord. He loves you so much, and so do I. You people are my family in Christ. And together, through Christ, we can do ANYthing.

"Let not your heart be troubled..." John 14:1

Day 9 (Wow, it's been awhile...)

Wow, it's been 5 days and feels like an eternity...

So I take it if you've successfully found my blog now, you've noticed the change. No longer will I call this my "Boy Diet", for I was never keeping my focus from guys alone. I also reviewed exactly what the word "diet" means to me and several other people.

If you are on a food diet, what to you primarily focus on, or at least crave? Food. Whatever you diet from, you want that more so, because you know you can't (or shouldn't) have it. I'm not doing this on my own.

I am flesh fasting. To quote what I said to someone who asked exactly what I was doing to "diet":

"I actually -hate- the term "Boy diet". But I've heard it called that through a couple of people, and so I naturally labeled it that. I am physically and mentally restricting myself from anything that I felt was standing in between God and I. Thoughts about guys, gone. It's hard, but gone. I've put off trying to find my future spouse, on my own that... See More is. If God puts a man in front of me tomorrow and I hear Him say "This is your husband" (however He'd like to say it), then I will heed to His call, and listen to Him. I've also taken away all of my music, other than what I find to be uplifting spiritually. I used to be a HUGE Ramones fan, that music, shirt, and poster, gone. It was really hard for me as well, especially since some of my best friend from home are into some...awful music that I used to love. I've cut some friendships that were no longer helping me grow spiritually.

I'm not technically "Boy dieting", but I struggled especially with being lonely. I was always looking for a boyfriend/future husband. Almost ever guy I would look at, I'd think, "Is that him? Will I marry this guy?" and I wasn't allowing God to show Him to me. I was just...looking. Now I'm looking, but only for God. Whatever He puts in my path as I walk along side Him, I will take notice to. Other than that, I have blinders on to the rest of the world."

And this isn't happening primarily. I'm not dropping these fleshy ways to focus on God. I'm focusing on Him only, which I then see, with His help, what was keeping me from Him and they naturally become unnecessary. I no longer have a need/want of my fleshy ways. I am focusing on God and crucifying my flesh, and in turn, my crucified flesh is no longer in the way of my focus on God.

I know this was not much of an update, but I really hope this helps you understand where I'm coming from. I really do promise to update, soon. I just wanted to get the term that seemed so...wrong out of the way.

No more "Boy Diet", now this is my Flesh Fast

Day 4

So, I know I've been blogging kind of late at night, and I'm sorry. I just hate to blog when more stuff might happen! I don't want to leave anything out.

"There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade. "

Those are just some of the lyrics to my current FAVORITE song. "You are More" by Tenth Avenue North. This song is something I've needed for a....very long time. I have made so many mistakes. I've felt like that nothing could ever cover all of my mistakes, all of my problems, all of my wrong choices. That I'm pretty much worthless. That even Christ wouldn't want me, that I was worse than the scum of the earth.

And then I listened to this song. I actually heard it for the first time on Monday, day 1 of my "diet". Wow. Can you say that God was speaking to ME? I know I can.

This brings me to my next point that I wanted to bring up. I know this is titled on here and on Facebook as "The Boy Diet". But that is not all that I've taken my diet from. I'm leaving everything that tore my focus from God behind. Boys, Facebooking as much (which is really hard when I'm trying to grow this ministry, you've no clue), leaving some friends behind, and jumping in, head first, with my relationship with God. Whatever I felt as a distraction before, I have laid it to the side. It no longer matters.

Last night at church, a friend of mine who I've grown very close to in just the past week (she is an AMAZING Woman of God, I'm blessed and grateful to call her 'friend') put a book in my hands, 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' by Joshua Harris. Oh. My. Goodness. I've only read about 38 pages so far, and I can see so much of my story in this book. I at one point looked over my shoulder to see if this guy was taking notes on my life. I'd like to quote a part of the book that I believe is part of the basis of my "diet", which I had declared before I read this book:

"When I changed my attitude and made pleasing God and blessing others my first priorities, I found true peace and joy. When I stopped seeing girls (in my case, guys) as potential girlfriends (for me, boyfriends) and started treating them as sisters (brothers) in Christ, I discovered the richness of true friendship. When I stopped worrying about whom I was going to marry and began trusting God's timing, I uncovered the incredible potential of serving God as a single. And when I stopped flirting with temptation in one-on-one dating relationships and started pursuing righteousness, I uncovered the peace and power that come from purity. I kissed dating goodbye because I found out that God has something better in store!"

To me, this whole paragraph is ME! I specifically remember on Sunday night when I declared my "diet" that I wanted to stop focusing on my future spouse, stop trying to find him on my own, and focus completely on God, I could see so much more to be gained by this.

Okay, I -have- to stop talking on this, or the girls that I get to speak to at the lock-in at church (Yes! It's going to work out sooooo well!!!!! Praise God!!!) will be completely bored when I talk.
Today has been such a fulfilling day of knowledge as I began reading this book. Along with reading in this book, I was also able to get together with my friend (the one who told me to read 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye') to work on planning this upcoming Lock-In. We've got so much in store for these girls that will be there. I cannot wait to see God move through us as the "leaders" and the Spirit just pour over these girls that will be there.

Please, my readers, I ask you to be in prayer specifically for this Lock-In. That the girls, as I stated above, will be open to letting the Spirit fill them and we, the "leaders" will just let God speak through us. We are merely the mouth that He uses to speak through. If only one girl receives what God speaks to the group, then that is all that matters. One girl saved is one less unsaved soul in this world. One by one.

In case I haven't told you lately, you, my readers, are AWESOME! And I love you all dearly. I pray for you every day.

Day 3

If you ever ask God to "take away your boredom" be prepared.

Through this boy diet, I've asked God to show me ways I can minister, to find my true ministry calling. Boy (no pun intended) has He done that.

I was asked to share why I decided to go on my "diet" with a couple of girls at my church this evening before the youth group met. It was awesome to share with them the testimony behind all of this. One day, not today, I may share it will all of you, in more detail than already given.

I have a heart to work with those younger than me. Those less fortunate. And those who will pretty much accept my help.

I have previously spoken with one of the youth ministers at my church about becoming more involved with the youth there. Tonight I was told that an idea I had can definitely happen, a lock-in at our church to minister to the younger girls there. I was ECSTATIC to say the least. God has always gifted me, and continues to gift me, with older women in my life who can lead me and be my role model. I feel like I am to be that gift to those younger than me. So to have this idea that God gave me come into full circle, and be happening, it is truly amazing.

Not only have I been given a want and desire to do this lock-in, but I've a heart to work with the youth group at our church. I cannot work with them year round due to classes in the fall and spring semester, but when I am there, I want the youth to know that I am an available shoulder to cry on/lean on, a pair of ears to listen, and a mouth to have God speak through. When I spoke with the main youth minister tonight, I was told that they would love to have me get involved. God had opened so many doors in this short but powerful period of time. First there was Shelby's Life Group, then the Lock-In, now working with the youth, and who knows what else.

If I ever told God I was bored with how things were going in my life, He has definitely taken care of that for me. Now I'm trying to find time! Haha. This has been a great half week start to such an amazing experience God is leading me through. I cannot WAIT to see what else is in store!

Day 2

Okay, so today produced nothing much in the realm of temptation dealing with guys. I have though, experienced an amazing day with the Lord.

I was able to go over to a friend's house and help her unpack her new apartment. She just recently, Sunday, moved to Paducah and it is an amazing experience for her. I feel really connected with her and I've not even known her that long. I can tell our friendship will go a long way, and in a way, I already feel like she is an older sister to me. I have always wanted an older sister, and God has blessed me in tenfold with Shelby.

I was able to go to Life Group with her tonight. For those of you who do not know what Life Group is, it is small groups that my future church (as of this coming Sunday) Faith Center have. It is an awesome way to connect and learn from each other on such a more personal level. At first, it wasn't much of a blessing to be there, I felt like an intruder almost, since it was not the normal Life Group I attend. As the nice proceeded, especially at the end, I felt really wanted. Something that has happened on rare occasions, but at those occasions, I feel so deeply connected with God. I can truly say that I have found a group of women that I know are so in love with God, and that they have given their mind, soul, and body to Him. Letting Him live through them, AS them. I know this is a group of women that will keep me accountable, and will help me grow even more as I continue this quest that God has put before me.

I know this post was not much about my "diet", but I felt this was what God wanted me to share. About how, when you have such a strong group of friends around you, not only will they lift your spirits, but they help you grow so much, and you even lift their own spirits. God has truly blessed me with such an amazing group of ladies to be with. I am honored to call them friends.

By the way, if you live in the Paducah area and would like to look into this, see what it is all about, or even just talk with me, feel free to email me at victoria.n.mcbride@gmail.com and I would love to get to know you better.

Day 1 (Introduction)

Today I started my "Boy diet". For those of you who do not entirely understand this, let me "break it down" for you.

I am tired of trying to find my future boyfriend/spouse on my own. For the past 19 years, 6 months, and 1 day I have tried doing this all on my own. I've tried to just picture any guy that I might remotely be interested in as my future mate. God has definitely made this interesting to say the least. There are a few people who are very close to me (my mother, sister, roommate and a few close friends) who have witnessed this journey in my life. They've given me words that I would not listen to, for what I had in my head as my own thinking, but me believing it was God speaking to me, was no where near what God was saying.

Last night at around 9:30 PM (CT) I sent a text message out to a number of very close friends of mine who I know have a very intimate relationship with God. Who I knew could keep me in prayer as this chapter of my life begins. In this texts I stated:

"Today, legitly, right now at 9:30 PM on May 9th, 2010, I am going on a boy diet. I no longer want to search on my own. If God sees someone fit for me, He will provide in His time. I can't do this on my own. I am strictly focusing on God. From now until He sees fit. I am telling you, one of my closest friends, someone who I know has such a deep relationship with God. Please be in prayer for me as I begin this new chapter in my life."

I plan on journeying deeper in God's word, finding His plan for me. Growing closer to Him than I ever have before. I ask you all, whoever reads this, to pray for me to fully understand what God has planned for me through this. I know this is going to be extremely hard, for I've heard so many times that when you stop looking is when whatever you've been looking for shows up. However long God sees fit for me to "diet" is the length of this diet. I cannot wait to share what God shows through this all to me.
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Today has been an interesting day. I've not been put in situations when I've been tempted as much. I know those days will come. After all, this is only day one.

I pray, Lord, that you will show yourself through me, to whoever happens to stumble upon these blogs of mine. I know I am not much of the "blogger", Lord, but I am purely the fingers you type with. Let your will be shown.