Day 4

So, I know I've been blogging kind of late at night, and I'm sorry. I just hate to blog when more stuff might happen! I don't want to leave anything out.

"There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade. "

Those are just some of the lyrics to my current FAVORITE song. "You are More" by Tenth Avenue North. This song is something I've needed for a....very long time. I have made so many mistakes. I've felt like that nothing could ever cover all of my mistakes, all of my problems, all of my wrong choices. That I'm pretty much worthless. That even Christ wouldn't want me, that I was worse than the scum of the earth.

And then I listened to this song. I actually heard it for the first time on Monday, day 1 of my "diet". Wow. Can you say that God was speaking to ME? I know I can.

This brings me to my next point that I wanted to bring up. I know this is titled on here and on Facebook as "The Boy Diet". But that is not all that I've taken my diet from. I'm leaving everything that tore my focus from God behind. Boys, Facebooking as much (which is really hard when I'm trying to grow this ministry, you've no clue), leaving some friends behind, and jumping in, head first, with my relationship with God. Whatever I felt as a distraction before, I have laid it to the side. It no longer matters.

Last night at church, a friend of mine who I've grown very close to in just the past week (she is an AMAZING Woman of God, I'm blessed and grateful to call her 'friend') put a book in my hands, 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' by Joshua Harris. Oh. My. Goodness. I've only read about 38 pages so far, and I can see so much of my story in this book. I at one point looked over my shoulder to see if this guy was taking notes on my life. I'd like to quote a part of the book that I believe is part of the basis of my "diet", which I had declared before I read this book:

"When I changed my attitude and made pleasing God and blessing others my first priorities, I found true peace and joy. When I stopped seeing girls (in my case, guys) as potential girlfriends (for me, boyfriends) and started treating them as sisters (brothers) in Christ, I discovered the richness of true friendship. When I stopped worrying about whom I was going to marry and began trusting God's timing, I uncovered the incredible potential of serving God as a single. And when I stopped flirting with temptation in one-on-one dating relationships and started pursuing righteousness, I uncovered the peace and power that come from purity. I kissed dating goodbye because I found out that God has something better in store!"

To me, this whole paragraph is ME! I specifically remember on Sunday night when I declared my "diet" that I wanted to stop focusing on my future spouse, stop trying to find him on my own, and focus completely on God, I could see so much more to be gained by this.

Okay, I -have- to stop talking on this, or the girls that I get to speak to at the lock-in at church (Yes! It's going to work out sooooo well!!!!! Praise God!!!) will be completely bored when I talk.
Today has been such a fulfilling day of knowledge as I began reading this book. Along with reading in this book, I was also able to get together with my friend (the one who told me to read 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye') to work on planning this upcoming Lock-In. We've got so much in store for these girls that will be there. I cannot wait to see God move through us as the "leaders" and the Spirit just pour over these girls that will be there.

Please, my readers, I ask you to be in prayer specifically for this Lock-In. That the girls, as I stated above, will be open to letting the Spirit fill them and we, the "leaders" will just let God speak through us. We are merely the mouth that He uses to speak through. If only one girl receives what God speaks to the group, then that is all that matters. One girl saved is one less unsaved soul in this world. One by one.

In case I haven't told you lately, you, my readers, are AWESOME! And I love you all dearly. I pray for you every day.